I woke up today and something inside me said it was time to write this blog; This writing began in my head several weeks ago. Since my last life update, my life has changed drastically, From a seven-year breakup to a noticeable change in my lifestyle. I am still a part of the same person I once was, but the weaker half of me has regretfully died at the hands of a society and a family that wanted me to conform. My rebelliousness and dedication is the will that allows me to rise in the morning. So many people are dead to me now, but many ambitious people have risen in their place. I have sent many of my demons back to sleep in the graves from which they came. There was once a war zone brewing inside me, now, there are just personal battles. I feel that I am gazing at the world with a new pair of eyes; Everything is observed with a new perspective. I am seeing things that I have always seen, but I am recognizing and comprehending them in a new way.
I have been traveling on an endless journey of self-discovery, exploring the recesses of my mind for answers on WHOM I am, WHO I want to become, and WHY I am here. Many of you might have a simplistic answer to some of these questions, but I have been delving into the innermost part of my brain and attempting to safely extract all of the answers. Reminiscing on the past, I am remembering many regretful actions that I have made within this past year. I have grown fearless of some of the dangers breeding in our world. Without a companion, I’ve grown less co-dependant. I’m at my strongest point yet. I’m in no rush to find a significant other. Some days, a hopeless feeling comes over me and tells me that I will be alone forever. I’ve always wanted to complete someone and have them complete me like the lost pieces of a great puzzle. Life is so strange, when you meet someone that you like, you run out of words, and then they have just ran out of your life.
College is taking my mind off of some personal issues and helping me direct my time in a more positive direction. But since I’m a perfectionist, school is consuming more of my life than it should be. There are many weeks that I cut everyone out of my life and I disconnect myself from the world. Sometimes I need to let my mind rest, but I choose to do extra credit; There is a nerd living inside of me. lol Since I don’t have a job, I feel that if I don’t put ALL of my effort into school, and I don’t have all A’s, I have somehow failed at life. I’m going through these semesters very quickly, and I am already trying to peer into the future, but I don’t know what I want to major in. Sociology helps me study society. Psychology helps me study the mind. Writing is my main passion. And I have always wanted to teach on a focused subject.
This ^ is a screenshot of Zelda: Skyward Sword for the Nintendo Wii. 35+ hours of my life has already went into this game. It is the best Zelda game so far.
I am on facebook quite a bit because I play some of these facebook apps, religiously. (The Sims: Social and Restaurant City) Between school, I get some chances to play video games, but I’ve had a hard time trying to focus on my writing. I’m gonna find a way to perfect my time restraints; you are gonna see me post more creative writings and updates on my newest novel. Hopefully this blog will jumpstart the creative process. Earlier this semester, I submitted three of my writings to The Mosaic (a pamphlet distributed through Motlow campuses.) Hopefully, they will be printed. *crosses fingers* My body has been feeling really weak lately, so I started back doing my daily exercise routine. As much as I like having friends, I learned that I require a lot of “alone” time. I text people back sometimes, but texting seems like too much effort to say what I’m really wanting to say. And I rarely call people because I’m afraid they are busy and I would be interrupting their life. It comes down to a confidence issue. I hope this blog gave you some insight to who I am. - Brandon Defiance
