( Planet Perfect )
In the past four years of my life, I have seen betrayal amongst a group of people. I have seen people use their authority to abuse the ones under them- to feel better about themselves. I have seen people change from good people into hairy demons. I have fell into the trap of a deceiver; I put my foot into a truce that was only a "Religious" attack. I once led a life hating the majority of Religious people based on that of the sinner’s actions within. I was wrong, but the accusation was half-way correct; most of the world has bad intentions and most of the world fall into a Religion.
I have fed people secrets that I would rather them vomit back up. I reached out for some kind of guidance amongst the people around me. I failed, these genes are still swimming inside of me; this mind still impulses on the same unstable level. I have befriended people that have only wasted my time. I have been used. I have lost, many times in my mind. I battle a demon within my heart, he will not let me live today. I wish I was young again; my mind has not been developed enough to take on the world. I wish there was no orientation. I wish everyone could live on the same planet.
I have put more than enough time into a relationship that is failing; I have put more than enough progress on a planet with no progression. I have seen people for whom they really are. I have seen that beings only have hidden intentions. I have aged into a body that I wish would rejuvenate back into the unaware form of a little boy; I wish I could be as blind as they are. I wish I could pretend and believe that everything is okay. I wish I couldn’t see your flaws anymore. I wish I could stop trying to be so damn perfect. I wish I could take narcotics to nullify the mentality of reality.
I wish I could be just like you. I envy people that are normal enough to have friends. I wish I wasn’t so damn distant. I wish I could smile with a frown. I wish I didn’t look like me. I wish I could bleed out my insecurities. I wish I was born in your family. I wish I could look like you and do all the things that you do. I wish I could live in your world. I normally like me, but today I hate me. I wish success was given to me. I wish my efforts weren’t so meaningless. I wish I lived in a bigger city. I just wish I had more possibilities of being the person that I want to be.
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Random Update 11/24/09 (Gatlinburg Trip & New Super Mario Bros. Endnote)
Well, I am sitting here in class without a teacher again. She has a cold and probably won't be here for the next two days; which means, our Thanksgiving vacation starts this minute without her presence. Mwahaha! lol
Endnote:
I will start off by talking about NEW Super Mario Bros. Wii. I picked up my copy the second that it was being put out on store shelves. Finally, I had my hands around the game that I have dreamt about for the past eighteen years of my life. When I rushed home to play it, it almost felt like Christmas had come too soon. Even though I had beat the game within a 24 hour period, I was not at all disappointed with it. It is a very difficult game- especially for newcomers of the series. It was a very satisfying challenge for me. I have been playing Mario games over and over for years. I have the skill and dedication to jump under King Koopa’s reptilian @$$, at any cost, to save back Princess Toadstool. :C)
It gives long running fans the memorabilia that they have been longing for since the dawn of the 16 bit Super Nintendo Entertainment System. Many of the reviewers are giving it a mediocre score due to the lack of unnecessary features that Nintendo decided not to implement; such as not allowing you to play with the classic controller (sold separately for 19.99) and the absence of online multiplayer play. Many reviewers are not being fair to the game itself and are looking f
or reasons to cut down it’s expected high score. This game has crammed most of your favorite characters, good and evil, into some of the most original, inspirational, and graphically-updated levels ever seen before in a Mario game. For newcomers of the Mario Bros. Series, this game deserves a 10 out of 10, but for returning, hardcore fans like myself, a 9.5 out of 10. It gives ALOT of references back to the retro Mario Bros. games, but it doesn’t take too many risks by stepping it’s plumber shoes into uncharted territory. Like Super Mario World (SNES), it could have let you take Yoshi into other levels instead of just letting you ride him into levels he was made exclusively for. It could have let you unlock more playable characters other than Mario, Luigi, & the two toad children. It could have made better use of the colored power switches. They could have made Bowser’s castle seem more threatening than his koopaling’s castles. These levels are so fun, they could 
have made about 300 more to add to the diverse 77.lol There is nothing really bad to say about this title like some of the stale reviewers are saying; they are just mad that this title didn’t make it’s way to the PS3 and X-Box 360. If you own a Nintendo Wii or are planning to buy one for the Christmas season, don’t forget to pick up this gem for you and your whole family to play around the holidays.
Now, about my Gatlinburg trip. It was fun for the most part. Me and Rachel got up there later than expected due to Sleeping Beauty (a.k.a. - Rachel.) If I didn’t knock on her window to wake her up, we would have been later than we were. We just had to check into our hotel by two, and you know that there is a one hour difference between our time and Gatlinburgs. We stayed at Best Western’s Crossroads. It was a pretty empty hotel wh
ich only had 4 floors. It was peaceful, nobody was ever going up or down the elevator- so it seemed that we had our own private elevator at times. As soon as we unpacked our luggage, we wanted to hit up the streets. So we walked down into the crowded 
streets looking for interesting things to buy and to take pictures of. We walked to our favorite shop in town called, “Earthbound.” It is a big shop that sells jewelry and decorations from different cultures spanning from Egyptian, Chinese, Japanese, to African. Me and Rachel wanted many things, but everything I really wanted cost a couple of hundred dollars. We ended up buying nothing, but I regretted it, I could have bought the whole store if I had the money. Instead, me and Rachel tried on many masquerade masks and took pics; I uploaded many of the images on my myspace account.> www.myspace.com/sirbanedefiance
We walked out of the store and looked up at the sun. We acknowledged that the sun was going to go down in a few hours so we continued wandering in town, instead of going to the Smoky Mountain National Park like we had planned. We went to our favorite restaurant based on our last visit to Gatlinburg, “Blaine’s Bar & Grill.” We sat outside on the balcony of the second floor looking down at all of the passing motorist and crazy people yelling at one another from the sidewalks. Me and Rachel ordered something different from the me
nu this time, and the cook burnt it. The waitress asked us was it cooked right. Me trying to be a nice person and trying to avoid from hurting anyone’s feelings, said to her, “Yes. Everything is fine.” Everything wasn’t fine though, my chopsteak tasted like charcoal. It was the second worst steak I have ever consumed in my life. So that ruined all of the future hopes that we had for Blaine’s Bar & Grill.
We shopped until the sun went down and the streaming Christmas lights helped light up the streets. Neon Christmas lights draped past electrical lines; some lights were making the shape of gigantic snowflakes in the sky. Dinner sucked so we went to Fanny Farkles and got a foot-long corndog. Me and Rachel went into a Christmas village that consisted of many Christmas-based stores, but we didn’t enter. We just wanted to take pictures in front of all the decorations. Hoping that I wouldn’t get caught, I straddled a stone pony in the middle of this square.lol We went back to our hotel and made Pina Coladas. We attempted to make appletinis, but the vodka I brought was cheap, watermelon flavored. Yuck!
We got up the next morning and went to Flapjacks Pancake Cabin. It was a lot better 
than The Log Cabin that we ate at last time we were here. For $7 you could get 2 sausage/bacon & biscuits, eggs, 2 pancakes, & hash browns. This is one of the first restaurants that I got full at.lol We finally let our TOMTOM navigate us to the Smoky Mountain National Park. (Side Note: Our TOMTOM lost signal and told us to turn off into many rivers and mountains during our entire trip.) Based on their website, I was pretty sure I was gonna get eaten by a bear. We walked to Laurel Falls, a 3 mile around hike. Traveling up the strenuous mountain trails, Rachel & I ran out of breath many times, but it was well worth it when we reached the towering waterfall. I wanted to go back to Dollywood because we had seasonal passes for this year, but we didn’t have enough time to go. After we walked the 1.5 miles back, we got in the car and drove to Cades Cove. We thought it was another hike, but we were really wrong. After driving 27 miles down curvy roads beside rushing river rapids, we were finally there at Cades Cove. A 11 mile long site-see going 25 mph behind people from the city. We seen more deer and turkeys than we have ever seen in a one days time, but atleast I got some good shots of the mountains. Overall, it was a big waste of gas. Our original plan was to ride in carriages around some of the parks sites, but we had already had enough of the park for one day. It’s good we bought plenty of snacks with us, or we would have died from starvation. Do you know how long 11 miles is going 15-25 mph? We kinda went home after that. Click on the player below to watch a brief snippet of the waterfall.
And....If you haven't seen the New Lady Gaga music video, "Bad Romance," you need to see it! It's freakin' awesome. Lady Gaga has re-released her album, "The Fame." She added another disk which contains 8 darker additional tracks that deals with her life on the road from 2008-2009. The new 2 disk compilation is called, "The Fame Monster."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MsthwTUTylQ
^^^^Click on this link to watch the music video if it doesn't pop up down below. v
Thursday, November 12, 2009
The Deep, Dark Ocean Within
Under the full moon, on a dead planet, and in the lonely mind, a boy sits upon the weak ledge on the edge of the brink of time. He reaches for shooting stars that shine within his darkened eyes, but he wasn’t meant to catch one; not in his lifetime. His shivering legs wade under the cold waves of forgotten shores. The sea shall hold deep secrets, the sea shall hold the lives of shipwrecked sailor’s souls in which the ocean keeps alive. The moon has a reflection, the moon has a twin that lies underneath the ripples of the deep, dark ocean within. A maiden knows him by his shame somewhere from this life of pain. A faraway dame calls him by his name, but he is enchained by life’s secrets and sins.
Just so many maps were graphed by man, so many maps that you won’t understand. An "x" marks the spot, but the treasure was marked by a hand, an unfaithful, mortal hand. In this broken humanity, be quick to draw your blade. Pirates will parade around you on their island escapades. They’ll poke you with steel tips to make you walk their splintered planks, but will you sink down below into the abyss of the skeletal necropolis? Mermaids will swim to save you as you fall into the deep depressions of your life, but your soul knows that you are not weak enough to say goodbye. Because I am this boy, and I have this knife; vengeance is ready to help me slash out the eyes of all of the betrayers that hide behind a disguise. I shall eventually put a face on all the things that I hate. I will find a masked culprit within this underwater masquerade.
Angels turn heads to watch a mortal falter into a reflected galaxy made of water. My darkened eyes drown into an abyss where the creatures from my dreams coexist. I have explored these upset waters once before. On the surface above me, the storms of calvary thunderously roar, and send a warning upon the forgotten shores. The spirits of the dead sailors assemble their skeletons from the sands of the sea. They chatter their teeth back together, they cackle, and stare at me, the trespasser. Hidden in the dunes of this marine desert is the treasure chest that will forever make your life complete, but "greed" is the power-hungry breed of foolish humans that feed off of the fear of the weak. They will abuse their authority on the peon-minority until they are strangled by the eight tentacles of deceit.
I hear thee calling, maiden from the caverns of the deep. I am aware that you have awoken from your enchanted sleep. I am sorry, but I am something that these mortals will not accept. I want my useless body to be raked into your depressing, watery depths. To these humans, my voice is an unheard whisper; it shall be just as easily forgotten in the pass of time...just as I. She said in a echoing breath, "You were born with imperfections and humanity claimed sins, but the only scars that I see are those etched into your skin. You are wise enough to not need a disguise, to lie, to get what you want out of life. If you hold the hurricane inside your heart, eventually, your entire world shall whirl apart. I am the majesty of the deep dark ocean within, my kingdom is a mirror-copy of a galaxy swam by fins. The past has been penned in blood and cannot be undone. Redeem yourself from the wicked and be lifted by the embracing rays of the sun."
The fiery star emerged out from it’s own reflection from the ripples of the nocturnal sea. It lit up the sky to awaken the world; of a world that is in spiritual need. Clams raised their shells to expose their sparkling pearls- to all of the dreamers that are sailing across the world. With bubbles swirling through my levitating hair, I emerged back up through sun-beaming waters in hopes to reach a breath of fresh air.
Just so many maps were graphed by man, so many maps that you won’t understand. An "x" marks the spot, but the treasure was marked by a hand, an unfaithful, mortal hand. In this broken humanity, be quick to draw your blade. Pirates will parade around you on their island escapades. They’ll poke you with steel tips to make you walk their splintered planks, but will you sink down below into the abyss of the skeletal necropolis? Mermaids will swim to save you as you fall into the deep depressions of your life, but your soul knows that you are not weak enough to say goodbye. Because I am this boy, and I have this knife; vengeance is ready to help me slash out the eyes of all of the betrayers that hide behind a disguise. I shall eventually put a face on all the things that I hate. I will find a masked culprit within this underwater masquerade.
Angels turn heads to watch a mortal falter into a reflected galaxy made of water. My darkened eyes drown into an abyss where the creatures from my dreams coexist. I have explored these upset waters once before. On the surface above me, the storms of calvary thunderously roar, and send a warning upon the forgotten shores. The spirits of the dead sailors assemble their skeletons from the sands of the sea. They chatter their teeth back together, they cackle, and stare at me, the trespasser. Hidden in the dunes of this marine desert is the treasure chest that will forever make your life complete, but "greed" is the power-hungry breed of foolish humans that feed off of the fear of the weak. They will abuse their authority on the peon-minority until they are strangled by the eight tentacles of deceit.
I hear thee calling, maiden from the caverns of the deep. I am aware that you have awoken from your enchanted sleep. I am sorry, but I am something that these mortals will not accept. I want my useless body to be raked into your depressing, watery depths. To these humans, my voice is an unheard whisper; it shall be just as easily forgotten in the pass of time...just as I. She said in a echoing breath, "You were born with imperfections and humanity claimed sins, but the only scars that I see are those etched into your skin. You are wise enough to not need a disguise, to lie, to get what you want out of life. If you hold the hurricane inside your heart, eventually, your entire world shall whirl apart. I am the majesty of the deep dark ocean within, my kingdom is a mirror-copy of a galaxy swam by fins. The past has been penned in blood and cannot be undone. Redeem yourself from the wicked and be lifted by the embracing rays of the sun."
The fiery star emerged out from it’s own reflection from the ripples of the nocturnal sea. It lit up the sky to awaken the world; of a world that is in spiritual need. Clams raised their shells to expose their sparkling pearls- to all of the dreamers that are sailing across the world. With bubbles swirling through my levitating hair, I emerged back up through sun-beaming waters in hopes to reach a breath of fresh air.
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Random Update 10/22/09 (Saw VI & New Super Mario Bros. Wii
First off, I would like to discuss with you how excited I am about the new Super Mario Bros. game for the Nintendo Wii. (Expected Release Date 11/15/09) Since Nintendo’s consoles have been overshadowed lately by the more mature X-Box 360 and Playstation 3, the 'ol Nintendo company has been busy like bees working on a game that they have always been known best for. In early November, Nintendo is releasing the first Super Mario Bros. side-scroller that has came to a home game-console in 18 years. It took them long enough didn’t it? The game features Bowser and his seven, spoiled koopa kids who each hold an enchanting wand for each of the 8 worlds. You can even ride a Yoshi through some of the levels. Unlike Super Mario Bros 3 (Nes) and Super Mario World (Snes), this is a 1 to 4 player game. That’s right, you can play with up to 4 players at the same time as long as you keep up on the levels, and share the power-up with one another. Speaking of the power-ups, you can have a propeller suit, penguin suit, super mushroom, mini mushroom, fire flower, and a ice flower. Nintendo has put a lot of time and effort into a game that can be fully enjoyed by both a single player and up to four; the intelligent camera system will wid
en the view of the level depending on the number of people joining. My favorite part is that this entry in the Mario series is said to be the most challenging yet. The difficulty level continues in the same vain as Super Mario World (Snes) left off, but don’t worry soft-core fans, there is a help option to skip through the level if it is too hard for your pipe-jumping skills. Whether you want to be Mario, Luigi, or one of the two toad children; I think you are gonna love saving princess toadstool AGAIN by running through haunted ghost houses, and jumping past hordes of enemies in these diverse levels.Okay, enough about my love for Mario.lol I was joking with a friend the other day, and I mentioned how cool it would be to be dressed up as Darth Vader for my own funeral possession....or have my wedding themed in the Star Wars universe. Does anyone know if this has been done before? It would be so awesome to have people equipped with light sabers strapped to their sides and either be dressed as members of the Jedi or the Sith.lol
Saw 6 is expected to hit the big screen on October the 23rd, but when an overrated series like itself daringly kills off the main character, how much longer will it be able to hold loyal fans attention? The 5th entry in the series seemed silly and pointless. Everyone wants to see Jigsaw come back to life. I want to see the girl from Saw 1 & 2 come back, but the stupid writers killed her off too. What will Saw 6 do to shock it’s fans this time? Will it do anything, or just go down the line becoming duller by each entry that they decide to make? Rumors are already spreading that Saw 7 is in the making; it is said that the makers want to implement it into 3-D. In the beginning, the Saw series had a good, original concept and it felt like the first successful cult classic since the early Friday The 13th and Halloween eras. Will this cash cow die in the deathtrap of it’s own overrated hype? What do you think? Will Jigsaw mysteriously come back to life?
I am currently writing this blog and spinning my cats tail pretending that he is a jack-in-the-box. Yea, I have no life. I had my first job interview since Kingston yesterday. This Poland man is establishing a business in the area and needs a computer technician. He didn’t have much details on the job or the pay. I am not too confident about the whole situation. I also want to say that I have a really good friend in the marines that is bisexual. I don't have ANYTHING against homosexuals, and I feel that it is wrong to kick someone out of the military just because they are gay. They recruit girls...lesbian girls, too. Well, what's the difference? Do you think that a queer is gonna be looking at one of the the enemy soldiers a** instead of killing them? :CD
-Sir ßane Ðefiance
Monday, October 12, 2009
Random Update 10/12/09
Hello. I am sitting at school being bored because my unresponsible teacher couldn't make it into class today. Unlike a University, if our teacher isn't going to be attending- they expect us to sit in class doing nothing all day. Our teacher has blocked Facebook, Myspace, Ebay, LSN, Youtube, and many other fun sites from the entire school. So without those sites, what else is there to do?lol Does she REALLY expect us to sit in the dark and play minesweeper all day?
Last week, one of the teachers referred me for a job opening for a Tullahoma telephone company. I am going to finish my schooling! If I start something in life, I am going to finish it. The job's requirements was a high school diploma, and the position has no relevance to what we were learning in school.
A few days ago, I made a BIG online purchase of 108$. I am somewhat obsessed with this Heavy Metal band called, Cradle Of Filth. I pre-ordered a book of theirs called, The Gospel Of Filth. It's been in the making for 4 years now, and you can't buy the limited edition after the stroke of midnight on Halloween. (Strangely enough.lol)
Cradle Of Filth is one of my biggest writing inspirations because of all the ground that they cover. Their conceptual albums are built around gothic literature, fairytales, mythology, poetry, and horror films. This book is like an enclyopedia that maps out all of the deep, dark stories behind their albums. I can't wait to get this in the mail. It is personally signed by Dani Filth himself. Unlike the store edition, this leather one has full color pages, a bonus chapter, and only a select few will be manufactured. I can't wait to add this to my book collection. Yeah!
Last week, one of the teachers referred me for a job opening for a Tullahoma telephone company. I am going to finish my schooling! If I start something in life, I am going to finish it. The job's requirements was a high school diploma, and the position has no relevance to what we were learning in school.
A few days ago, I made a BIG online purchase of 108$. I am somewhat obsessed with this Heavy Metal band called, Cradle Of Filth. I pre-ordered a book of theirs called, The Gospel Of Filth. It's been in the making for 4 years now, and you can't buy the limited edition after the stroke of midnight on Halloween. (Strangely enough.lol)
"Dani's band, Cradle of Filth, are one of England's most successful and controversial musical exports of the past decade, loved and loathed in equal measure, the singer bringing that same provocative edge to this, his first literary effort." -http://www.fabpress.com/
Cradle Of Filth is one of my biggest writing inspirations because of all the ground that they cover. Their conceptual albums are built around gothic literature, fairytales, mythology, poetry, and horror films. This book is like an enclyopedia that maps out all of the deep, dark stories behind their albums. I can't wait to get this in the mail. It is personally signed by Dani Filth himself. Unlike the store edition, this leather one has full color pages, a bonus chapter, and only a select few will be manufactured. I can't wait to add this to my book collection. Yeah!
-Sir ßane Ðefiance
Friday, October 2, 2009
Life Update (10/02/09)
I know it’s weird because I haven’t blogged in such a long time, but I felt it was almost time to start back again. First off, I would like to state that everyone has their own opinions and just because you don’t agree with all of them doesn’t mean that they aren’t right to somebody. Everyone has their own musical and theatrical favorites whether you like it or not, but going around and saying that your tastes are the "right" ones- just makes you look so stupid. Just get a life and don’t forget to finish high school. You will need the education to make important choices down the road.
Another thing that bothers me is people in their vehicles. The dumb individuals that decide to pass cars when oncoming traffic is fixing to collide with them. They look so desperate trying to fit back into a row of cars before they get hit while being on the wrong side of the road. If you are one of these people or know someone that has this habit, I have some advice for you. If reaching your destination a few seconds earlier is worth gambling your entire life over, then do it. Just remember that seconds that you spare for caution could save yours or someone else’s life one day. Quit passing cars around blind curves, too. If you want to die, go to the grand canyon and run off into it, don’t put others lives into jeopardy as well. This might not mean anything to you right now, but when your life’s seconds are slowly counting down, this advice could mean everything.
Enough with the venting. How is everybody? I have recently joined Facebook and fell into an obsession with one of their apps called, Restaurant City. As for what I think about Facebook, in general, I think that in many ways it is more advanced than Myspace, but Myspace has some advancements over it too. I like Facebook for how well connected it feels to everybody and it’s investments in diverse applications and surveys. Facebook’s environment feels a lot more up to date, but it feels a little bit more cluttered when compared to Myspace’s activity stream. Myspace is the service that got me into writing blogs and taking pictures to show my friends. Facebook doesn’t have the same appeal to me.
How am I? Since I’ve slept, I feel refreshed. I have recently been in doubt about the whole writing career thing. I edited 7 of the 15 chapters of Cinder Fingers, wrote two chapters on my new novel, and took a long break. On that break, I studied and passed my last Microsoft exam. Now I don’t have anything to worry about before I get out of school in December. (Other than the ultimate reality of finding a job and eventually getting out on my own.) I will simply put it this way, some days I feel like I could live to the fullest, and some days I feel like I could die to the fullest. My insecurities continually tell me that I’m not good enough, and this is a battle I fight daily. I’m afraid of what’s going to happen in the future. I’m afraid of being left alone in this world with no one to turn to. Something has to change, but I don’t know what. I have tried to extinguish all of the negativity around me, but it could be consuming me without me knowing it. I try to be there for people, but when I’m in my own darkest hours, I feel so disconnected to the world. My voice has been shackled in solitude for way too long. I guess Halloween is the only thing to look forward to. I have bought excess amounts of make-up to attempt to be something equivalently scary as a demon. I can’t wait until the leaves start changing into their fall colors. Pictures will be posted soon.lol
I attended a friend’s church in the past month. I ONLY attend churches for Easter and Christmas plays. This time, I attended because my friend really wanted me to. When I found out he prayed for me with them a few nights before, it gave me hope that their really could be more good people that cares in this world.
-Sir Bane Defiance
Another thing that bothers me is people in their vehicles. The dumb individuals that decide to pass cars when oncoming traffic is fixing to collide with them. They look so desperate trying to fit back into a row of cars before they get hit while being on the wrong side of the road. If you are one of these people or know someone that has this habit, I have some advice for you. If reaching your destination a few seconds earlier is worth gambling your entire life over, then do it. Just remember that seconds that you spare for caution could save yours or someone else’s life one day. Quit passing cars around blind curves, too. If you want to die, go to the grand canyon and run off into it, don’t put others lives into jeopardy as well. This might not mean anything to you right now, but when your life’s seconds are slowly counting down, this advice could mean everything.
Enough with the venting. How is everybody? I have recently joined Facebook and fell into an obsession with one of their apps called, Restaurant City. As for what I think about Facebook, in general, I think that in many ways it is more advanced than Myspace, but Myspace has some advancements over it too. I like Facebook for how well connected it feels to everybody and it’s investments in diverse applications and surveys. Facebook’s environment feels a lot more up to date, but it feels a little bit more cluttered when compared to Myspace’s activity stream. Myspace is the service that got me into writing blogs and taking pictures to show my friends. Facebook doesn’t have the same appeal to me.
How am I? Since I’ve slept, I feel refreshed. I have recently been in doubt about the whole writing career thing. I edited 7 of the 15 chapters of Cinder Fingers, wrote two chapters on my new novel, and took a long break. On that break, I studied and passed my last Microsoft exam. Now I don’t have anything to worry about before I get out of school in December. (Other than the ultimate reality of finding a job and eventually getting out on my own.) I will simply put it this way, some days I feel like I could live to the fullest, and some days I feel like I could die to the fullest. My insecurities continually tell me that I’m not good enough, and this is a battle I fight daily. I’m afraid of what’s going to happen in the future. I’m afraid of being left alone in this world with no one to turn to. Something has to change, but I don’t know what. I have tried to extinguish all of the negativity around me, but it could be consuming me without me knowing it. I try to be there for people, but when I’m in my own darkest hours, I feel so disconnected to the world. My voice has been shackled in solitude for way too long. I guess Halloween is the only thing to look forward to. I have bought excess amounts of make-up to attempt to be something equivalently scary as a demon. I can’t wait until the leaves start changing into their fall colors. Pictures will be posted soon.lol
I attended a friend’s church in the past month. I ONLY attend churches for Easter and Christmas plays. This time, I attended because my friend really wanted me to. When I found out he prayed for me with them a few nights before, it gave me hope that their really could be more good people that cares in this world.
-Sir Bane Defiance
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