Life Update (10/02/09)

I know it’s weird because I haven’t blogged in such a long time, but I felt it was almost time to start back again. First off, I would like to state that everyone has their own opinions and just because you don’t agree with all of them doesn’t mean that they aren’t right to somebody. Everyone has their own musical and theatrical favorites whether you like it or not, but going around and saying that your tastes are the "right" ones- just makes you look so stupid. Just get a life and don’t forget to finish high school. You will need the education to make important choices down the road.

Another thing that bothers me is people in their vehicles. The dumb individuals that decide to pass cars when oncoming traffic is fixing to collide with them. They look so desperate trying to fit back into a row of cars before they get hit while being on the wrong side of the road. If you are one of these people or know someone that has this habit, I have some advice for you. If reaching your destination a few seconds earlier is worth gambling your entire life over, then do it. Just remember that seconds that you spare for caution could save yours or someone else’s life one day. Quit passing cars around blind curves, too. If you want to die, go to the grand canyon and run off into it, don’t put others lives into jeopardy as well. This might not mean anything to you right now, but when your life’s seconds are slowly counting down, this advice could mean everything.

Enough with the venting. How is everybody? I have recently joined Facebook and fell into an obsession with one of their apps called, Restaurant City. As for what I think about Facebook, in general, I think that in many ways it is more advanced than Myspace, but Myspace has some advancements over it too. I like Facebook for how well connected it feels to everybody and it’s investments in diverse applications and surveys. Facebook’s environment feels a lot more up to date, but it feels a little bit more cluttered when compared to Myspace’s activity stream. Myspace is the service that got me into writing blogs and taking pictures to show my friends. Facebook doesn’t have the same appeal to me.

How am I? Since I’ve slept, I feel refreshed. I have recently been in doubt about the whole writing career thing. I edited 7 of the 15 chapters of Cinder Fingers, wrote two chapters on my new novel, and took a long break. On that break, I studied and passed my last Microsoft exam. Now I don’t have anything to worry about before I get out of school in December. (Other than the ultimate reality of finding a job and eventually getting out on my own.) I will simply put it this way, some days I feel like I could live to the fullest, and some days I feel like I could die to the fullest. My insecurities continually tell me that I’m not good enough, and this is a battle I fight daily. I’m afraid of what’s going to happen in the future. I’m afraid of being left alone in this world with no one to turn to. Something has to change, but I don’t know what. I have tried to extinguish all of the negativity around me, but it could be consuming me without me knowing it. I try to be there for people, but when I’m in my own darkest hours, I feel so disconnected to the world. My voice has been shackled in solitude for way too long. I guess Halloween is the only thing to look forward to. I have bought excess amounts of make-up to attempt to be something equivalently scary as a demon. I can’t wait until the leaves start changing into their fall colors. Pictures will be posted soon.lol

I attended a friend’s church in the past month. I ONLY attend churches for Easter and Christmas plays. This time, I attended because my friend really wanted me to. When I found out he prayed for me with them a few nights before, it gave me hope that their really could be more good people that cares in this world.

-Sir Bane Defiance