Disclaimier: This blog is going to a personal place inside the darkest crevices of my mind and soul.
Attack of the Killer B's
I finished year three of big boy college and have one left to receive my bachelors. The transition from Motlow to MTSU went extremely well (I met really good friend, Autumn Chatwood.) And today I can say that I'm unsure if I'm going to pursue a master's degree because I'm a 'lil burnt out. It has already been recorded that I'm going to make two B+'s this semester, which I'm a little ashamed to admit. To me, this is an important life lesson that no one can be perfect. I had suicidal thoughts from making the B's, and I know that is stupid, but the feeling was very real for me. It almost feels that school is all I got going for me because I'm a little weird in social world, and later I am going to emphasize on that.
These Hips Do Lie
I weigh 240 ibs and feel like a cow! If I go to India they will worship me; if I go to the beach, sea world will capture me. It's a lose-lose situation. I don't want to be praised nor slaved for entertainment. These hips do lie because I'm 6" 4ish and the weight is proportioned throughout. I have an unrealistic goal of losing 60 pounds this summer. I'm sweetening my tea with honey, Walking, Using Wii Fit, Forgetting cokes exist, etc. If anyone wants to go walking with me or work out, I'm down. This Summer I'm more serious than ever about this.
Cinder Blocks + Chicken Fingers =
Cinder Fingers got published (finally!) and is picking up a little outside interest. I have roughly sold around twenty copies. Booksignings and a kindle version will be a thing in the distant future to help catapult awareness and interest. No one in my household will read my novel, so I have little support here and a brother that jokes, "everyone needs a new, expensive drink coaster." Currently, I am writing on my newest novel that is more fantasy-based which is less dark. Think of an more mature Alice in Wonderland meets The Chronicles of Narnia. The setting takes place upon the shores of Honolulu, which I might need to visit one day to fully capture the livliness of the scenes.
My Youtube Channel (www.youtube.com/user/SirBaneDefiance)
Everyone with a google or youtube account, Subscribe! ^^^! I am seriously commited to creating a youtube channel with everything from: video blogs to game reviews and walk throughs to funny videos. I need your support. :) I currently only have three videos: one stupid one with my cats, me recording a church protest on campus, and a trailer promoting Cinder Fingers. The numbers are going to grow throughout Summer. This dusty hd camera is finally going to get some use.
Who is Brandon Defiance?
This is a question I want to clear up for you. I have a very complex answer for you that will leave you thinking I'm crazier than you thought I was before you started reading this... I could just be manic depressive. I don't think I'm bipolar, because that condition is reserved for crazies like my ex. I could be creatively labeling my moods into different egos, or I could have a small case of Multiple Personality Disorder.
In my head, my birth name, Brandon Davis, is the name of the first personality I'm going to talk to you about. Davis is an insecure (sometimes depressed) man that many people made fun of in school. He is a total nerd with only a handful of friends. If it wasn't for him accepting his sexuality, he wouldn't be here writing this now. He is very insecure about his body like mentioned above, and believes that if he looked perfect, then society would accept him for his shortcomings. He is apathetic about religion and just wants everyone to be treated equally. He is a caring friend that makes jokes to help people forget about their problems. He is responsible with his money and has his life planned out.
My second personality, Sir Bane Defiance, is a personality I have struggled with for a while now. Defiance was first triggered through an act of rebellion. He is overly confident/arrogant and believes he is an important role in the endtimes of the bible. He despises organized religions and believes that a war is brewing to take him down. He views the world in a satirical, sadistic fashion and feels he can manipulate people that are against him. He is the embodiment of anger and hatred. So, Brandon Defiance is what I'm calling myself now because I believe I am in a state of equilibrium between these two personalities. They are constantly fighting inside of me trying to take control and sometimes one of them wins. I hope you like me the same after I told you this.
-Brandon Defiance
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